Quotes By Mark Twain (Page 2)

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A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.  ~ Mark Twain

Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it.  ~ Mark Twain

Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.  ~ Mark Twain

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.  ~ Mark Twain

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.  ~ Mark Twain

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.  ~ Mark Twain

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he less savage than the other savages.  ~ Mark Twain

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one's head.  ~ Mark Twain

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.  ~ Mark Twain

It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.  ~ Mark Twain

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.  ~ Mark Twain

We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.  ~ Mark Twain

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.  ~ Mark Twain

Plan for the future because that's where you are going to spend the rest of your life.  ~ Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.  ~ Mark Twain

If we were supposed to talk more than listen we would have been given two mouths and one ear.  ~ Mark Twain

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.  ~ Mark Twain

Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.  ~ Mark Twain

To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.  ~ Mark Twain

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.  ~ Mark Twain

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.  ~ Mark Twain

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.  ~ Mark Twain

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.  ~ Mark Twain

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.  ~ Mark Twain

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.  ~ Mark Twain

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!  ~ Mark Twain

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.  ~ Mark Twain

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.  ~ Mark Twain

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.  ~ Mark Twain

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.  ~ Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.  ~ Mark Twain

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.  ~ Mark Twain

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.  ~ Mark Twain

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.  ~ Mark Twain

When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.  ~ Mark Twain

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.  ~ Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.  ~ Mark Twain

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.  ~ Mark Twain

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.  ~ Mark Twain

History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.  ~ Mark Twain

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.  ~ Mark Twain

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.  ~ Mark Twain

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.  ~ Mark Twain

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.  ~ Mark Twain

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.  ~ Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.  ~ Mark Twain

There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.  ~ Mark Twain

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.  ~ Mark Twain

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.  ~ Mark Twain

Familiarity breeds contempt and children.  ~ Mark Twain

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