Quotes About Smoking

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Smoking is the great romance of my lifetime. If I could find someone I wanted forty-five times a day, perhaps I could stop.  ~ Fran Lebowitz

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since.  ~ Arturo Toscanini

There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.  ~ Harold Robbins

But when I don't smoke I scarcely feel as if I'm living. I don't feel as if I'm living unless I'm killing myself.  ~ Russel Hoban

It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.  ~ Mark Twain

The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.  ~ Woody Allen

If I could smoke from more than one orifice, I most certainly would.  ~ Graham Parker

You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly harassing you.  ~ Kinky Friedman

Smoke your pipe and be silent; there's only wind and smoke in the world.  ~ Irish Proverb

I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.  ~ Lewis Grizzard

The best way to stop smoking is to just stop - no ifs, ands or butts.  ~ Edith Zittler

The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, "Hey, mind if I smoke?" I always say, "No. Mind if I fart?"  ~ Steve Martin

Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.  ~ George D. Prentice

Quit puffing that hell fume in God's clean air.  ~ Carry Nation

I'm eighty-three and I've been smoking since I was eleven. I'm suing the cigarette company because it promised to kill me and it hasn't.  ~ Kurt Vonnegut

I would rather smoke one cigar than hear two sermons.  ~ Robert Green Ingersoll

I'd rather kiss a mad cow on the muzzle than a smoker on the mouth.  ~ Paul Carvel

People think there's a choice between smoking and immorality, but we've all got to die of something.  ~ Tom Stoppard

Smoking cigars is like falling in love; first you are attracted to its shape; you stay with it for its flavour; and you must always remember never, never let the flame go out.  ~ Winston Churchill

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.  ~ Jay Leno

Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries.  ~ Luis Buñuel

If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.  ~ Douglas Adams